W.G.T.M.T::World Gets Too Much Tools::Part 1:: Take a seat, and tell me about what you mean, by “world gets too much”?

Well, Dr Internet, you see... hold on, I need a moment.

OK, Originally I wrote a  post about tools I use when the world is too much for me; but it got longer and longer until it got a bit TLDR. So I'm splitting this is off into WGTMT - World Gets Too Much Tools, or maybe World Gets TriNitroToluene? Whatever (don't say I don't do google research, TNT - Dynomite - TriNitroToiletreen etc).

This is about the tools - both physical and non-physical, and some metaphysical - that I use when I need an umbrella for life.

Firstly, I don't know if i'm autistic; Mum always says I "Think Dyslexically", and I make links and combinations that others don't seem to - and miss others that everyone else sees - so maybe i'm "On the spectum", what one? I'm not sure.

But I can't leave the house without headphones in order to drown things out - heck, I need them to lounge around the house. Sometimes I need something for my hands to do to stop me urging to do self-harming habits - some of which I would do on a daily basis until blood is drawn and then continue onwards to get "one more little more bit". I don't tell people this, because a few times ago I did and I got WTF'd for years; so I won't say what I do anymore. But I do it, I don't even know i'm doing it, on a daily basis.

When Mum sees me doing this, she gives me a bit of negative association by giving me a little tap or kick - very tiny - depending on company - and tells me to "Go get a cube" she'd say which is our code-word for me to snap out of what i'm doing and do something else. Sometimes it works.

Symptoms

In big crowds, or especially large waiting rooms - something I'm unfortunately in a lot, where there is a lot of people chatting their own little talks. I kind of hear every conversation at once. When kids run around screaming (no offense to any parents; it's not a leap of imagination to see how stressful a sick kid in a waiting room; but on the other hand if I did that as a kid, my dad would... Anyway times have changed ).

I kind of pick up every irrelevant detail from someone's hand movements; to reading signs on walls on repeat;  then look at others thinking "I'm sweating, are they looking at me, what have I done wrong?". I can see every light at once. Evey wall. Even walls that don't face me.

"Am I making too much of eye contact?" Why am I even thinking of eye contact. What do normal people do at this point in time? Ok, i'm going to look down for 3 seconds and then resume eye contact look away on

One Two Three.

j

I start to sweat on my eyebrow, my legs start to shake, I get extremely thirsty; not just thirsty but like I'm going to choke - it's like Thirsty and this, is the difference between tiredness and fatigue. I think my stomach hurts but not quite sure because it always hurts.

Did I accidently leave the door unlocked? Stove turned off? Server backed up? That girl I fancied at school that I haven't even thought about in 15 years somehow accidently Instagram double-tapped and swiped-right on tinder?

..... then the person who i'm actually spoken too, that's the one I haven't picked up on. Normally if I say "Yes, I totally agree, you're spot on" or "No, you're right, I'm with you. Hahaha, anyway" - I've got a 50% chance of winning this conversation - and yes, I do consider it a win to have a simple conversation.

Remember that one time you called your teacher Mum & said "I love you too" too? 

Aaaaaany way

So I'm going to put my various tools into a series of reviews, but the main tools I can think of that I use are

I'll write them all out invidually as I go along, please keep updated on my facebook page and tell me what ones you want me to show off first and how they help - along with any items that help you along the way ! what works for me, might not work for you, but not also work, and what blah blah vissah versah.

Written by: Paul

AKA: Pauly PP Pops Gonz Double Pee P4ulypops

I’m into Food, Tech & Dogs – and a few others bits ‘n pieces.

I create bits of the internet; just like the one, you’re watching – or watching; depending if this is a video or not.

Please do get in touch if you think I can help 😀

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *